Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
