The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize