just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
