was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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