So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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