It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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