I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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