I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
