i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize