But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize