I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
