i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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