I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.