I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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