I just saw a hot homeless man
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it