THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.