Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
