I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
