Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
