Non-Jews are for practice
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
