just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize