I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize