I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
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