we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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