I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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