It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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