one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
