i'm signing you up for texting rehab
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
