it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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