You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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