everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
