I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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