i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
