I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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