do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize