i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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