Quick, to the slutcave!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
