i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
