he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
