Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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