I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
