i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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