plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
