hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
