Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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