found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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