There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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