Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
