I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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