I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
