Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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