I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
