I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cockslap morals
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my sisters under your porch take her home
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
