***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize