we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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