Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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