he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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