mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize