it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
