the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
