I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize